Boundaries are essential in any relationship, and even more so in a romantic setting. They are what keep a couple from disrespecting one another. They also preserve individual identity and freedom of expression. A lack of boundaries leaves room for insecurity, fear, and unhappiness.
Moshe Ratson wrote in GoodTherapy, “When you give others the ability to make you feel bad about yourself, you are more likely to react negatively to them and try to lessen their power over you.” Take control of your own emotions, validate them, and hold space for them. If your partner’s angry outburst about not putting the dishes away made you feel hurt or angry yourself, try not to negate that or push those emotions down. If your friend’s foul mood over something innocent you said is making you feel anxious, tell yourself it’s fair to feel that way. There is no need to blame yourself for their inconsistent reactions.
Sometimes, doing this by yourself might prove difficult, especially in the beginning. Ask a trusted friend for help. Let your partner, friend, or even boss know that you won’t tolerate certain kinds of behavior. They’re going to have to stop treating you carelessly and become accountable for their own reactions.
Post source: The List
