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The daughter of the Sandy Hook Elementary School principal who was murdered in the 2012 massacre has written a tragic letter to her mother as she fights cancer. 

Erica Lafferty was 27 when her mother Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, was murdered in the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut, along with 25 other people – including 20 children. 

In April Lafferty was diagnosed with Stage II Orbital Lymphoma and has been battling the disease since, racking up thousands of dollars in medical bills and being forced to start a fundraiser to help shoulder the cost. 

Posting an update on her condition on the 11th anniversary of the school shooting on Tuesday, Lafferty shared a heartbreaking letter she had written to her mother. 

She wrote: ‘Mommy, It’s been 11 years since I’ve seen your face. Eleven years since I’ve been able to give you a hug or hear you and Sissy make fun of me for being … well, me.

Erica Lafferty with her mother Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung who was murdered 11 years ago in the Sandy Hook school massacre

Erica Lafferty with her mother Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung who was murdered 11 years ago in the Sandy Hook school massacre

Erica Lafferty is now battling cancer and wrote a heartbreaking letter to her murdered mother on the 11th anniversary of her death

Erica Lafferty is now battling cancer and wrote a heartbreaking letter to her murdered mother on the 11th anniversary of her death

‘I hate that you’re missing all of this. I hate that I can’t call you and tell you how terrified I am of these tumors that are spreading all over and eating my body alive. 

‘I want to lay in bed with you and just cry it out. I want to tell you the whole truth about how it feels, I want to talk to the one person in the world that I didn’t have to hold a brave face for. 

‘I want to tell you about how crazy unfair and broken our health care system is and how scared I am that Steve and I will not be able to afford to keep me alive. 

‘I want to hear you tell me that we will be OK and that we will figure something out because we have no other choice. I want your love and your reassurance.’

Laffferty’s mother was murdered on December 12 2012 along with 20 six and seven-year-olds and five teachers, when a 20-year-old man, Adam Lanza, entered the school and shot as many people as he could with a semi-automatic rifle. 

Hochsprung was in a meeting with other senior staff when he broke into the school. 

Hearing shots but not knowing what they were, Hochsprung went to investigate with two other staff members and was shot and killed. 

School therapist Diane Day who was in the office at the time said afterwards: ‘They didn’t think twice about confronting or seeing what was going on.’ 

Lanza killed himself after he had finished shooting. He had earlier shot his own mother dead in her bed before driving to the school.  

Heartbreaking letter in full 

Mommy,

It’s been 11 years since I’ve seen your face. Eleven years since I’ve been able to give you a hug or hear you and Sissy make fun of me for being … well, me.

I have done so many incredibly stupid things that you would be so mad at me for, but you would be so proud of how I fought like crazy to get out of bad situations and turn my life around into the person that you always told me that I could be, things I never thought possible. Happy. Successful. A good wife and mother.

I wish you were here to mock my insane collection of dogs. You’d love each of them along with their eclectic personalities (especially Jinx, whom I named after one of our longest-standing inside jokes).

I’d do anything to see you spend time with our kids. Cassie has such a loving, caring and beautiful soul. She is incredibly funny, and we would probably have some serious arguments about who gets to hang out with her most. She is everything I could ever dream of in a child and best friend. Chris would be absolutely amazed by your energy and would totally nerd out soaking up everything you had to teach him. He has such a thirst for knowledge! You would forever be comparing his natural athletic abilities to yourself (and let’s be honest, you’d try to take full credit for it). I might actually be worried to leave you and Sabrina alone together, the plots, pranks and jokes would be never-ending! She is such a sarcastic and witty little thing, and your fiery personalities would play perfectly off of each other. You would be so proud of her fearless approach to life. Mostly, I think you would be so genuinely impressed with how hard they are all able to love at such young ages.

I hate that you’re missing all of this. I hate that I can’t call you and tell you how terrified I am of these tumors that are spreading all over and eating my body alive. I want to lay in bed with you and just cry it out. I want to tell you the whole truth about how it feels, I want to talk to the one person in the world that I didn’t have to hold a brave face for. I want to tell you about how crazy unfair and broken our health care system is and how scared I am that Steve and I will not be able to afford to keep me alive. I want to hear you tell me that we will be OK and that we will figure something out because we have no other choice. I want your love and your reassurance.

I feel so selfish to have so much in this world and still go to bed each night needing and wanting more. I want you to tell me that it is not selfish to want to stay alive for my family and I shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to live.

My heart is still broken, Momma. I will never get over you.

I love you.

Missing you always,

Your Baby Girl

Investigators did not establish a motive for the massacre, but Lanza had mental health problems including anxiety and anorexia. 

He had also developed an obsession with mass murders and rarely left his room or socialized. 

Lafferty’s medical fundraiser has now raised over $192,000, but the mother-of-three said: ‘There has not been one single day that I haven’t worried about how I’m going to pay to stay alive.’

Meanwhile, controversial conspiracy theorist, Alex Jones, owes her over $100million after she and the families of other Sandy Hook victims won a lawsuit against him.

Jones was ordered to pay damages after he promoted a conspiracy theory that the massacre never took place.

He said the shooting had been a ‘false flag’ operation perpetrated by the US government to push through gun control legislation. 

Relatives of the victims testified at the trials about being harassed and threatened by Jones´s believers, who sent threats and even confronted the grieving families in person, accusing them of being ‘crisis actors’ whose children never existed. 

The families won nearly the $1.5 billion in judgments against Jones last year after he repeatedly promoted the false theory.

Erica Lafferty, daughter of Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung, speaks to the media after jurors returned a $965 million dollar judgement in the defamation trial against Alex Jones

Erica Lafferty, daughter of Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung, speaks to the media after jurors returned a $965 million dollar judgement in the defamation trial against Alex Jones

Sandy Hook elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, was later demolished after the massacre

Sandy Hook elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, was later demolished after the massacre

The 20 children who were killed in the Sandy Hook mass shooting. Top row (L to R): Ana Marquez-Greene, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Emilie Parker, Noah Pozner. Second row: (L to R): Jesse Lewis, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Charlotte Bacon, Chase Kowalski. Third row (L to R): Daniel Barden, Jack Pinto, Catherine Hubbard, Dylan Hockley, Benjamin Wheeler. Bottom row (L to R): Grace McDonnell, James Mattioli, Avielle Richman, Madeleine Hsu, Allison Wyatt

The 20 children who were killed in the Sandy Hook mass shooting. Top row (L to R): Ana Marquez-Greene, Caroline Previdi, Jessica Rekos, Emilie Parker, Noah Pozner. Second row: (L to R): Jesse Lewis, Olivia Engel, Josephine Gay, Charlotte Bacon, Chase Kowalski. Third row (L to R): Daniel Barden, Jack Pinto, Catherine Hubbard, Dylan Hockley, Benjamin Wheeler. Bottom row (L to R): Grace McDonnell, James Mattioli, Avielle Richman, Madeleine Hsu, Allison Wyatt

But they are yet to see a penny of the money that juries awarded them.

Jones filed for bankruptcy last year, just months after being told to pay $965million in compensation and an additional $473million in punitive damages. 

Meanwhile his personal spending topped $93,000 in July alone, including thousands of dollars on meals and entertainment, according to his monthly financial reports in the bankruptcy case.

Court documents seen by DailyMail.com also revealed he blew through $2.2 million in just eight months.

The money has been spent on lavish purchases including four cars worth $219,690 and two boats worth $114,300. 

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This post first appeared on Daily mail